SUMMER BREAK

I remember summer break from back in the university or even grade
school.

I would spend my time hacking on code, doodling in 3d, being an IRC
addict, and/or binge watching shows. I loved staying up into the night
as it was quiet and peaceful, allowing me to do self-introspection. I
daydreamed about what my life could be like in the future. The future
was open-ended.

Then, adulthood happened.

I spent most of my work week looking forward to the weekend. Then, I'd
spend the weekend trying to recover from the passed week. I was always
tired and on edge. Perhaps it was my fault as I would stay up too late
since I would be miserable during the day, so I would try to make up
for it by melting my mind on the internet. However, I shouldn't blame
myself for being stuck for so long, taking what was given to me
instead of taking risks to get what I wanted. I was transitioning and
without a safety net and thus, had to be risk averse. I played the
hand I was dealt, possibly too cautiously. I paid the price with lost
time.

But now I'm free. I'm going on summer(+fall+winter+spring+???) break
again.

I hope that I'll figure out how to live a life that I love by having
tons of experiences. However, my first order of business is to get all
the surgeries I've been wanting for so long.